You know why I don’t get into being humiliated? Because I have no fucking shame. I’d hate to really hurt someone and embarrass them, but me? I just don’t give a rat’s ass. If I did, would I let Evelyn at HotMoviesforHer.com take this pre-product test photo of me? (I had already started to get changed when I decided a “pre” photo was needed.)
Yes, that’s a Bettie Page t-shirt, and yes, that’s the office bathroom. I’m just as sad as you are that is doesn’t have gilded ceilings, flattering lighting, and a a tampon machine. C’est la vie, fuck it. I just needed a place to change into and test the Midnight Prowler bodystocking by Pipedream Products. I had donned this garment before, but it was while hanging out in my house this summer without a functional air conditioner. (Come to think of it, I should actually wear it for a week next summer, soak it with sweat, and then sell the rank bodystocking on Ebanned.)
I have a “real” body, and I’m not a model by any means. Also, I’m not a lingerie wearer. I have tried and tried to love the stockings, the lace, the dainty panties, and it’s just not my thing. Instead of feeling sexy, I feel like I’m wearing an undersized, polyester Halloween costume from the dollar store, regardless of how amazing the actual lingerie is. In other words, super sexy clothing makes me feel ridiculous and self-conscious. Considering that, I really liked the idea of a opaque, hoodie bodystocking. From the image on Pipedream’s website, the bodystocking looks sleek and playful. Awesome. There’s not really a point to the hood, but Pipedream sells this style with the following copy from their website: Sneak up on your lover in the middle of the night in this sexy bodystocking. Scoop neck and crotchless, it has wide openings in all the right places! Were this item being marketed to men, I’d be a little worried about that message. For me, not so much. So, I requested the Midnight Prowler in size OS (original size) to see if I could possibly love a piece of lingerie.
This is the image that Pipedream uses to show the style of the Midnight Prowler:
The material looks somewhat sheer and the model’s boobs are definitely, albeit barely, encased within the bodystocking. This was not my experience. I found the bodystocking well-constructed, and very opaque. (I’m curvy and only 5 feet tall.) The nylon is somewhat thick, and therefore, it does hold the body jiggles in place. I had plenty of fabric and did not at all feel “choked” by a lack of give. However, the Midnight Prowler does not at all reign in my breasticles. Despite the amount of fabric I had to work with, I had to tug and stretch the collar of the Prowler just to get this much coverage:
It’s not like I was planning to go anywhere immediately in this catsuit, but I do like to have options for the odd occasion when I dress up for a fetish party or neighborhood potluck. I was a little disappointed that my boobs just do not fit inside of the catsuit without using tape or additional covering. I like the tease of sexy clothing, the suggestion of what might be revealed, rather than the overt display of body parts. In short, the plunging neckline is quite low. The open crotch is fine and perfectly logical to me, if only from the perspective from a person who drinks a ton of coffee and pees all day long. However, I’m also a dutiful underwear wearer, so I would wear this with my underpants (fuck “panties” unless they’re on a crossdresser) on.
In short, I will wear the Midnight Prowler bodystocking. As you can see from the photos, I am smiling and feel at ease. Victory at last!
PASS or FAIL? PASS.
If you’re interested in going twinsies with me, you can order the Midnight Prowler online at Sextoy.com. And kudos to Pipedream for remembering that One Size does not always fit all sizes. You can also get the Midnight Prowler in Queen and Diva sizes too.