Vanity aka VaniityDid y’all hear? There is a very unsubstantiated rumor going around that Justin Bieber hooked up with transsexual porn juggernaut Vanity. I don’t even care about most celebrity output, but I’m all over bad celebrity gossip, and this bullshit tickles me pink. It also makes me green with jealousy. Vanity won Best Transsexual Performer of the Year at the 2013 AVN Awards! The talking maws on YouTube seem to think that Justin’s supposed dalliance makes him gay. I’m not even going to break that down to explain what may make or not make a person gay because I don’t have time to tackle that. I do have time to tackle the more important issue here: Justin Bieber might have tapped the ass of infamy and you didn’t. Pass the tissues-you’re going to need them one way or another.

Here are a few highlights from a few Vanity flicks to support my position:

Seriously, Vanity is the epitome of sexy. Her sensuality and fierceness transcends what most mortals could dream of. You’d have to be something heavenly to draw attention away from that janky suburban townhouse set in the above clip from Vanity Superstar. Am I wrong?

Of course, I’m not wrong. If your nipples aren’t getting a bit tight and your skin isn’t getting a little flushed at the sight of Vanity, you must be a fucking corpse. She’s what Mick Jagger means when he sings “She could make a dead man come.” Hell, even pegging and TS film veteran Christian XXX looks willing to drop dead for her in that clip from Transsexual Activity 2. ( I actually had to stop watching this video at work because I was getting too hot.)

I’m not here to debate any rumors, but I’m just saying that if people were going around saying that I hooked up with Vanity, I’d work that hell out of that one. And if I hadn’t hooked up with her, the rumors would simply light a fire under my ass to go about doing so. I’m very anti-warbling while sucking cock/big clit, but for Vanity, I’d probably do my best to give Roxy Jezel a run for her money in that department.

As your friend in pornoland, I’d be happy to curate a longer Vanity show for you, and to keep speculating about just what (or who) may have gone down between Vanity and JB. However, I’ll just leave the fun to you. If you want more Vanity, you can stop by her personal web site, Club Vaniity.net. You can also follow @Vaniity on Twitter.

XOXO OTK,

Dee